Why, hello, Xanax, you are my new bestest friend, mm'kay?

So my sister managed to get a job offer from the gym she was working at here in town before she moved to Florida.  And it was an insanely good offer.  She agreed to it, quit her job in Florida, told her two kids they were moving home, made plans, etc., then the douchebag who owns the gym decided that his wife could put his balls back in her purse and he pulled out of the deal.  Even though he had put in several e-mails (so in writing) that they had a deal.  I'm pissed.  My sister's pissed.  My parents are devastated.  We were all really excited to have her and the girls back here.

The big sister in me wants to go yell at this guy.  To grab him by the balls explain to him what an enormous upheaval this was for my sister and her girls, and really for our entire family.  But I'm controlling myself, because I know it won't make a difference.  She got her job back in Florida, so at least she's  not unemployed.  But still, what a shittastic thing to do.  I don't know how this guy can live with himself.

Meanwhile, back in Iowa, I had a lovely visit with my neurologist.  My migraines have become daily, and my migraine medication is no longer working.  He told me -- and this might be the most ironic thing anyone has said to me in 30 years -- that I'm getting rebound headaches from taking my migraine medication too often due to my increased migraines.    Um, huh?  Chicken, egg, chicken, egg, chicken, egg.  So I have to try to not take the medication I take when I get a migraine for six weeks.  I can continue to take my preventative medications, though.  So far, I've only had two migraines, and they sucked, but I managed to get through them without meds.  I guess I'll survive.

My grandmother had to go in and have a new pacemaker .... installed?  Is that the right word?  I don't even know.  She's not a robot, but it's a mechanical device.  Why am I even fretting over whether or not this is the right word?  I don't know the answer to that either.  But anyway.  Apparently her left ventricle had completely stopped working.  And while I realize this is just life and all that jazz, that got me all stressed out all over again. 

This is where I realized I don't have a little thing called COPING SKILLS.  And that MAYBE I SHOULD LOOK INTO GETTING ME SOME OF THEM.

I now have an appointment with a psychiatrist on the 20th.  I also have a new antianxiety med from my family doc, recommended by my neurologist, and until it kicks in, I have Xanax.  Lovely Xanax.  Keeping me from punching people.  People like the lady at work who apparently wrote a complaint letter about how often I've been off work due to my incessant illnesses this year.  You know, the ones I totally planned and enjoyed so much.  I was at home all, "OMG, THIS IS SOOOOO MUCH FUN.  THOSE PEOPLE AT WORK ARE SUCH SUCKERS!!!!!"  Also, yeah, I got paid for almost none of that time I was off, and, since she is one of the reporters who was laid off during the budget cuts, she was called in and made extra money while I was off.  So I'm not exactly sure what her complaint was, unless she's against making extra money?  Or she just really enjoys writing ridiculous, nonsensical letters?  Or she's a moron?  I'm not sure.

Figuring this out will require more Xanax, methinks.

It also kept me from screaming at the attorney yesterday who, at 5:00 p.m., said something to the effect of, "Well, the judge wants to stay until 6:00 to wait for a verdict, but SHE" -- gesticulating in my general direction -- "wants to leave." 

Instead of screaming, I firmly explained that, no, I didn't WANT to leave, at least not as in, "Yeah, I just don't FEEL like staying, I'ma go home and drink and watch porn, or whatever," but that I had to pick up this tiny human that I'm responsible for by 5:30, and I had no one else available to do that for me since my husband was in Pennsylvania trying to re-engineer a machine to package tiny portions of applesauce.  ALSO, I'M ONLY REQUIRED TO WORK UNTIL 4:30, YOU PRETENTIOUS OLD PRICK.

I didn't add that last part, thanks to my friend, Xanax.

So, you see, Xanax has saved me from going to jail and/or losing my job on countless occasions over the last few weeks.  A true friend, that Xanax.