And now back to your regularly-scheduled life.......

This weekend we attended Brian's grandfather's funeral. It was horrible and sad, and I sobbed through the whole thing. Most people wouldn't find that odd, but I do. While I loved Roy because he was Brian's grandfather, I didn't love him like I love my own grandfather. I was sad to hear he had died, but hearing the news didn't inspire tears for me like the death of my own grandfather would. However, as I sat in that room full of people -- Roy's children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, nieces and nephews, and wife -- I felt almost empathic. It was like the sadness of everyone around me overwhelmed me. At one point I grabbed Ray's (Brian's uncle) hand, and the minute I touched it, I sobbed uncontrollably. Ray wasn't crying at all, but I knew he was hurting, and it was as if I took that on. It was quite possibly the strangest feeling I've ever had.

We said goodbye to Roy on Arsenal Island, where he was buried in the cemetery with the rest of the Veterans. The massive amount of respect the funeral procession received as we drove through was touching. Soldiers stood with their hats over their hearts or saluting, showing respect for a man they never knew, but still valued. It was incredible, and gave me new respect for our armed forces in general.

So now back to our regularly-scheduled life. Two funerals in three weeks is enough, no? I dare say we should get through the rest of the year without little to no drama or tragedy. I don't think we can take much more at this point.

Now we're back to finishing up our house projects, which are never-ending. I'm trying to get back into the swing of things as far as my workout regimen goes. Boot camp is tonight. I might die. Or throw up. But at least the recent snugness of my clothing will cease and desist. That's getting a little annoying. I'm also back to obsessing about getting pregnant. Well, let's be honest, I never actually STOP obsessing about getting pregnant, but it's been put on the back burner lately.

This past month was my last round of Femara. If I'm not pregnant -- which I don't think I am, because I've got some wicked PMS going on -- I go back to Iowa City. I already made the appointment for the 25th of this month. This next cycle will be unmedicated, since fertility meds are time-sensitive and have to be taken on days 3 through 7 of the cycle, and I won't get there by that time. I'm not too upset about that, though. I'm kind of looking forward to a month sans hot flashes and random crying. It'll be refreshing.

So we'll go to Iowa City to discuss the next steps in this process. Here's where I start to freak out. I think the next step is probably going to be injectible drugs, like Follistim, along with the Femara. I was talking to a girl at the gym last night who I know is doing injectibles, and she showed me the huge bruise on her stomach from them, and also told me the injectibles cost $500 per month out of pocket. That's just for the Follistim. If they put me on something else, or several injectibles at once, it could be more. So that's a bummer.

There's also a chance, however, that the clinic will want to just proceed with Femara and IUI. This is still an expensive prospect. I think IUIs in Iowa City cost about $1,600. This is a figure I got from a friend of mine who had one there. It worked, though, and she just had her little miracle, Cody, about nine weeks ago.

So we'll see. It's all a bit up in the air, and I'm trying not to worry about the next step until I know exactly what it is and Brian and I have discussed all our options. For now, I'm just waiting for my period to come -- or not, hopefully -- so I know that I actually NEED the appointment on the 25th. I'm sure I will.

I'll keep everyone posted!