Must be a full moon

I have had the weirdest day.  Which is saying a lot, since I work with nutcase criminals all the livelong day.  I had to stop at a store today to pick something up -- and I can't say what, because it's a gift to someone who reads this blog.  This store generally sells to other retails stores, items in bulk, and not the general public, but they let me come on over after I explained what I needed. Which I still can't tell you about.  I was in a hurry.  I needed to go there, the mall, another store on the completely opposite end of town, and a restaurant near that store for my lunch, all in an hour.  Not impossible, had I been able to get in and out of this first place. 

 

You see where this is going, right? 

 

The first problem cropped up when I was walking out of the courthouse to my car with a coworker.  This big work truck pulled up in the intersection we needed to cross, and this older guy was practically hanging out the window all, "Heyyyyyyyyyyy, ladiesssssss," which....okay.  Then the truck turned right, right in front of another car.  That car honked and kept moving forward.  So did the truck.  It was way weirder than it sounds.  Like the guys driving the truck just had no idea where they were or what they were doing or why they were doing it.

 

So I got to my car in one piece, and drove to the store I mentioned.  I walked in, and the guy working the counter was about 237 1/2 years old, and he was hooked up to an oxygen tank.  He was endlessly sweet and smiley, but, hot damn, he was slow.  Ringing me up for my $25 purchase took about 15 minutes.  Also, he had no idea how to use the credit card machine, and neither did anyone else in the office, so they had to just make a copy of my card so the girl who does know how to use it can run it through when she gets back from out of town?  Or something?  Old Man River assured me that the copy of my card was locked up in the safe, though.  Meanwhile, the owner of the establishment started chatting with me about what I was buying and why.  Then he invited me to the back room so he could show me some of the other products they sell.

 

This sounds way creepier when it's typed out than it actually was.  I promise.  It was not creepy, just....odd....

 

I was there for a long time.  Like 20 minutes longer than I wanted to be.  I got to the mall and made my purchase there, and headed in the direction of the other two places I needed to go.  I called ahead to order my lunch so I wouldn't have to wait.  While driving there, some guy with Michigan plates FLEW through a light that had been red for, oh, a year, and almost caused a massive accident right in front of my car.  I proceeded toward my destination, and had to stop at another red light.  I thought for sure it was going to stay red forever.  We sat.  And sat.  And then we sat some more.  I took about five minutes to get moving.

 

I got to the restaurant and got my lunch, then headed back to work.  Going to the other store was just not going to happen.  Got back to work.  The court attendant called me to tell me we were ready to do a criminal plea proceeding.  Cool.  Those don't take more than 15 minutes.

 

IT TOOK AN HOUR.

 

My boss was obviously feeling awfully chatty.  I'm not sure what the hell the deal was, but he drug that sucker out like it was nobody's business.  I don't know how to explain to you what was weird about it, but it was really bizarre.  Trust me. 

 

I'm kind of afraid to leave tonight knowing how weird this day has been so far.  I have no idea what to expect when I walk out of the building tonight.  Werewolves?  Raining frogs?  Leprechauns?  Could be anything at this point.

--
Cortney A. Kilby, C.S.R.