“Are you going poop, or just pee?”
“What color are your panties?”
“Are you wearing a pad?” (No joke, she asks this question)
“Does your tummy feel better now?”
“Are you going to wash your hands?”
It’s hilarious. And also a bit uncomfortable, mostly for me. I’m not a big fan of bathroom talk. In fact, I only tend to overshare about things involving my reproductive system. Other than that, most personal stuff will pretty much be off limits. I’m sure this shocks anyone who reads my blog regularly, since I share A LOT on here. But if you pay attention, it’s all uterus-related.
I’m fine with Halle coming to the bathroom with me most of the time, but on Sunday I wasn’t really in the mood, so when she followed me I said, “Why don’t you wait out here. My tummy hurts.” (Lie. Yes, I lied to my 3 year old niece. I suck.)
So instead of coming in with me, she stood outside the door and asked me her usual questions.
“Are you going pee, or poop?”
Just pee.
“Are you done?”
Nope.
“Are you done now?”
Almost.
“Are you gonna wash your hands?”
Yep, I’m about to do that.
“Are they dry?’
They are now.
“Does your tummy feel better now?”
Yes, it does (another lie. Queen of Sucking at Being an Aunt over here).
I need to get over this. I’m so skeeved out by so many things that shouldn’t skeeve me out, but the things that don’t skeeve me out probably should. My friend Cara mentioned a few weeks ago that she can’t wait to watch me do all the gross stuff that being a mom involves, like cleaning poop out of the bath tub. *GAG* I don’t think I can do that.
And even with all my grossed-out-ness with the poop and pee and such, I’m still seriously considering cloth diapers, because it would save us so much money and save the environment a lot of landfill space. Weird, no?
Oh, one last note on Ms. Halle. Sometimes, when she heads to the bathroom she tells me, “Cort, you stand right here and wait for me.”
“Right here” is a corner near the bathroom.
Then she says, “It’s not a timeout, though.”
Okay, Halle.
She goes into the bathroom, and while she’s doing her thing, she periodically yells, “Are you out there?”
Yep, I’m still here.
“Are you still there?”
Sure am.
It’s hysterical.
Even funnier is when she goes by herself, and she makes us all count. One night, we all started
counting as a group (Nikki, Paul, Brian and me). Then Halle demanded from the bathroom that only Uncle Brian count. So he did, then started talking to us, which prompted her to yell, “Keep counting, Uncle Brian!” So he had to, at the top of his voice, count while she went to the bathroom, which pretty much made it impossible for the rest of us to do anything by laugh hysterically while listening to him count.
Seriously, that kids cracks my shit up. She’s too funny.
6 comments:
I was scared of cloth at first but after it was a Mom's Group topic we decided to give it a try and loved it. It is easier and not as gross as people think. We did a combo disposables when we went places and at night (for convenience) and cloth at home during the day. Worked great.
I LOVE Fuzzy Bunz pocket diapers and plan to go mostly cloth when we have another. If you want to borrow ours let me know, I think we have 16 size Mediums (but I would have to pull them out and count them all to be sure).
Just make sure to pay extra and buy the special recommended detergent or they WILL leak. If they get stained just hang them outside in the sunlight and it does the trick, no joke... line drying is better for them anyway but you can use the dryer when needed. And buy a toilet sprayer. Once thier poop is solid you can just dump it in to the toilet.
Just in case you decide not to cloth diaper OR you decide to only do it part time like we did... the BEST advice someone gave me when I was pregnant was to start buying diapers now. Every time you go to the store pick up a package of different size and different brand diapers(since you don't know what kind will work best for your kid yet) and start stock piling them in a closet. If you keep the receipt you can exchange them if they are unopened. Then when the baby does come you will have a closet full of diapers and hopefully never have to make a last minute diaper run and you will already be use to the added cost because you are already buying diapers now each time you shop.
I use a combination of cloth and disposables, using the disposables when we go somewhere for longer than an hour or so.
For the cloth, I have Gerber's disposable diaper liners (look a bit like gauze) which go on top of the cloth and against the baby's skin. For lack of better description, it "filters" the solid waste so you're not rinsing diapers over the toilet. I think I mentioned before that I have two pails, one for the diaper soak and the other for wipes, liners, and disposables.
I soak them in a mild bleachwater solution, enough to kill bacteria and odor but not enough to make my house smell like a swimming pool. I launder them with All or Tide and run a second rinse cycle before pitching them into the dryer.
If you don't want to use bleach water, borax also works to keep them white, but I don't think borax kills odor as effectively.
I haven't tried the pinless diaper covers Crystal is talking about, but I've heard they're nice. I just might get myself a few for those groggy wee-hour changes when I'm most fearful of stabbing Kryptonite with a pin.
One final note: You'll be amazed at the grossness you can handle when it's your own kid.
Halle is So cute and SO smart! She sat down next to me by the bonfire and just started chattering away. Jon and I could not believe her vocabulary!
Trust me, what you find gross now is nothing when you have kids. When Mikey was sick not too long ago I seriously had every bodily fluid that could come out of him on me in a 3 minute time span. Its not so bad, you are so concerned about your child's well being that you dont even think about yourself.
Unsolicted advice here - I found your blog via my mom (another court reporter) and wanted to say I highly recommend doing lots of research on cloth vs disposable. There is actually quite a bit of evidence to show how hard cloth can be on the environment as well (lots of washing, hot water, etc.) so check it all out! And best wishes!!
Last week I had to make a mid drive home stop at Panera to use the restroom (for myself!) I have never done this before but I digress! A few days later we were driving (do I ever do anything else?) and Halle said she had to go to the bathroom and I told her we were almost home. She immediately said no, I think we should just stop at Panera! I cracked up laughing! I was afraid she would do that!
Annonymous - Thanks for that tip. I hadn't thought of that, and I'll do more research!
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