Dear muscles....STOP IT.

I woke up today with a pain in my left side. I laid there for a few more minutes while this pain got increasingly worse. I finally tried to get out of bed, which took, oh, five minutes, and I walked to the bathroom all doubled over. I figured I just needed to go to the bathroom and I would feel better. Nope. That actually made me feel worse. So I hobbled back to bed and laid down. It got a little better -- meandering away from the Oh My God I Think I'm Going to Die range of pain and waltzing into the Shit This Fucking Hurts Really Bad range.

So I called my doctor's office. Obviously, they weren't open because it was 6:50 a.m. They paged the doctor, but told me to call back if I didn't hear from him in 20 minutes. 30 minutes later I called back. They paged him again, then the answering service called me back and said, "We just realized your doctor is out of town. Here's the number for the on-call doctor. They'll page him when you call."

To Brian and I that sounded something like, "Heeeeeyyyyyyyy......We here at the on-call service are all smoking pot and doing body shots off one another, and we, like, TOTALLY FORGOT that your doctor is out of town until just RIGHT NOW. Isn't that HILARIOUS? So here, call this dude. He's probably not high or drunk. And, oh, I hope you don't die while you're waiting."

Morons.

So the on-call doctor called me back and he determined it's just muscle pain. Really freaking excruciating, mind-blowingly painful muscle pain. He said I just need to "take it easy."

Then the super-awesome nurse at my regular doctor's office called me to check on me, and said she agreed, it was probably just muscle pain, and said, "You can take Tylenol!" As if that was supposed to cheer me up. Tylenol? I might as well just pretend to take Tylenol. Tylenol, I'm sorry, is probably the most ineffective drug on the market. Which is why you can take it while you're pregnant, because it doesn't actually DO ANYTHING.

But I took some anyway. She also suggested a heating pad, so I've been using that. And if I sit perfectly, statuesquely still with my heating pad, I'm kind of okay. But if I feel the need to get up to do anything -- pee, get something to eat, etc -- after about a minute I'm again in excruciating pain and have to start all over. It's massively annoying, especially considering all the things that I could be accomplishing during a day off work. This house is a mess, and it'd be nice to vacuum or something. Then again, if I were capable of doing things like vacuuming or laundry, I probably should have gone to work. Catch-22.

This blows, and if it continues until Brian gets home from work, I'm going to have him take me to the Urgent Care place or something, because I'm flipping miserable.

*****

In random news, we watched the movie "He's Just Not that Into You" the other night. Terrible movie. Some parts are kinda funny, but it's LLLLLLLLLLLLLOONNNNGGGGGG. Really long. And the main part of it is about a married man having an affair. Brian actually turned away from the television a few times because he was so disgusted by the guy. Stuff like that really annoys him. The guy was cheating with a woman played by Scarlett Johansen. I hate ScarJo. Why? I don't know. She has an annoying face or...something. Something about her just bugs me. Don't tell me you've never felt that way about someone. You take one look at them and you can tell from their body language that they're exactly the type of person you generally avoid for fear that one day you will punch them in the face mid-sentence just for being who they are. She is one of those people for me, and now I hate her even more, even though I know she's not the character she played.

Jennifer Aniston and Ben Afleck were delightful, though. I really enjoyed that part of it. Too bad there wasn't more of them and less of douchy guy/ScarJo.

Hmmm....What else? Oh, I've been in Scott County all week this week because my boss is out of town. I've had nothing to do, which is boring, but I have had at least 10 people tell me how awesome I look for being five months pregnant. It makes me really want to just always go to Scott County instead of driving to Clinton where no one tells me how cute I am. And really, isn't the point of going to work, to be showered in unnecessary and probably false compliments? I don't actually go there to WORK.

I did make use of my time on the couch today by researching car seats and strollers. This has been a task I've been putting off. I didn't want a super expensive car seat or stroller, but I also wanted something safe. I think I found one with very good safety ratings in the mid-range as far as price goes. I also found a stroller frame that the car seat is compatible with, rather than getting the entire travel system which is heavy and bulky. The frame only weighs 11 pounds and folds up very compactly in the trunk. The car seat snaps onto it. Then I found an umbrella stroller for after the baby can hold his/her head up. So it's going to cost around the same amount as a travel system, but it'll be much less cumbersome, which I'm all for. I was pretty happy with myself, all in all.

I also looked at cribs. I think we'll probably end up ordering from JC Penney. They have a great selection which have gotten great reviews, and they're reasonably priced.

Well, I have to get back to my really busy day of watching Harry Potter and being kicked. Baby E is obviously fine, regardless of his/her mother's uncooperative muscles.