Okay, both of our hair colors are fake, but they're predicated on our natural colors, so stop nitpicking.
Our aesthetic differences aren't what worry me, though. My mom has a natural ability to interact with people. Big people, tiny people, annoying people, grumpy people, just all kinds of people. I do not have this ability. I don't really want to interact with most people. Especially kids. I find kids incredibly hard to interact with. I don't know what to DO with them.
I don't like talking down to them, but when I don't I find myself staring at a very cute, very confused little face.
I don't really "play." When we had our sleepover with Ally, Rylee and Zak, Rylee wanted me to play with these little toy dogs she had. There were three puppies and a mommy dog. I said, "Sure. Um, what do you want me to do with them?"
I swear to God, the child looked at me like I was the dumbest person on the planet.
"You make them talk. But they can only talk to each other. If they talk to the people" -- Oh, yes, I forgot, there were also people -- "they have to bark."
Naturally.
So I made the dogs talk. And bark. And I felt like a complete moron the entire time.
MY mom would have done this with enthusiasm and wanton glee. I'm pretty sure I did it with as much enthusiasm I could muster (*ahem* not enough) and a bit of sarcasm. Because, Dude, dogs don't talk.
I just can't picture myself as a mom. I can't bring myself to call myself "Mom" or "Mommy" or "Eliza's Mom." It sounds so weird. I'm still 16! At least, I feel 16 a lot of the time.
It also took me a while to get used to Brian introducing me as his wife. The first time he did it, it jolted me. Not in a bad way, just in a weird, on-my-god-I'm-someone's-wife kind of way. It was a new role, and I just wasn't used to it. I guess this is the same thing.
I'm having a girl. What the hell am I going to do with a girl? I didn't play with dolls as a kid. I was the first grandchild on my mom's side, and my grandmother was beside herself with excitement at my first Christmas, where I was roughly eight months old. She got me dolls and carriages and ..... ya know, other girly things. I didn't care. I was more interested in the boxes. You may think this had more to do with my age than anything, but the trend continued. I had a brief period where I wanted Barbies. And by "brief," I mean "about three days." Then I went back to only wanting to play with things that I could take apart and put back together (Transformer figurines were a big deal for me), or that required batteries (get your head out of the gutter).
Someone's going to have to teach me how to play with dolls.
When we found out we were having a girl, my dad said, "Well, we're going to have to build her playhouse in the backyard rather than buying one and bringing it in, because it won't fit through the gate."
Um, what playhouse? What's she going to do in there? Is the playhouse going to be in the shape of the Millennium Falcon? Because that would be sweet. Otherwise, I don't get it. Can't we just get her a jungle-gym thingy?
Now, if she wants to do hair or makeup or go shopping, I'm definitely THAT girl. No problems at all there. She will be stylish and have GREAT hair, she will just have no maternal instincts.
She also won't know how to cook. Aren't moms supposed to cook and bake and stuff? My mom did. I don't do that stuff. I suck at it. Brian does 95% of the cooking at our house, and 99.9% of the baking. I bake banana bread. That's it. Oh, and brownies, but only if they come out of a box.
MY mom made exotic things like crepes and strawberry shortcake and stroganoff and goulaush and banana creme pies and apple fritters.
Ellie will be getting spaghetti and mac & cheese, and the occassional loaf of banana bread from me.
Given all of this, I'm getting a little paranoid about how I'm going to live up to this Mom business. It seems a lofty goal for me to reach.
6 comments:
I am laughing at your blog because as I am reading it I have water boiling for mac and cheese for the girls for dinner. Don't worry, Eliza, Halle and Bryn will think its just the norm to not have mommies that cook. When I ask the girls what they want for lunch Halle says, "maybe old macdonalds or Hungry Hobo." No stroganoff or crepes here either!
This post tickled me. Before mine were born, kids might as well have been aliens from Mars. I knew nothing of what kids liked or what they did or how to interact with them.
This is why children start out as teeny-tiny infants that do little more than sleep. In the beginning, all you have to worry about is food, cleanliness, and lots of cuddling, and the cuddling will come as naturally as breathing. Wait and see.
By the time she starts smiling, you'll know how to bring those smiles about, and each one makes your day better than it was the second before.
At five or six months old, babies are an absolute blast. You can play a little bit, talk along with their cooing, and pretty much spend the entire day getting nothing done except playing with the baby, and you're not really "playing" anything specific. Your playing abilities will grow and expand as she does. Just wait. (I admit, though, that I just can't get into those plastic My Little Pony things. Ick.)
Baby talk is a soap-box issue for me. From day one, we talked to our kids kind of like we talk to each other (minus the expletives, of course). The only thing we "dumb down" in our speech is the ten-dollar words. We don't gush, we don't mush our words, and we don't use Junie B. grammar.
I was utterly revolted by a mom in the vet's waiting room speaking to her son -- older than my daughter -- in nauseating baby talk. "...him might bite you 'cause him scay-awd."
"Scay-awd"? What's wrong with "scared"? Why "him" and not "he/he is"? Are you kidding me? How can a child learn how words work if you talk to him like that?
There's a big difference between talking down to a child and talking on a level they can understand, and I know you know the difference. You're a smart, well-spoken person, and that will pass easily to your daughter. I'll bet you ten dollars that by the time she's eighteen months old, you'll have mommies in the supermarket complimenting you on how clearly she speaks.
Finally, it doesn't matter who does the cooking as long as the food is healthy and enjoyed as a family, right? "Mommy in the kitchen" becomes another shattered stereotype.
Dont worry Cort, you will do great! I was the same way when I heard we were having a boy. I WANTED a boy and still didnt know how I would play with him. But, to be honest, he plays on his own ALOT. I try to play with him and he moves away. So, I let him come to me to play, which he does quite often.
YOu get used to it all. The whole mom/wife business was weird for me at first too. I had to get used to it all so quick beings that I was only married for a month before I learned I was going to be a mommy.
There are all kinds of Moms out there. Ellie will love her mommy for everything she does for her, and she wont have to grow up with that stereotype that only Moms cook. It will be great for her!!
its not the food its the LOVE i really didnt cook well you just felt the love in what i cooked mac and cheese or crepes it doesnt matter as long as its served with a "mom" smile&lots of love love mom
PS COOKING WASNT MY BEST MOM THING, I BELIEVE IT WAS HOW I CHECK TO SEE IF YOU WERE BREATHING EVERY NIGHT HA HA
alright dude, we know Brian can play with her. Just like Patrick plays with the girls. I am too stuck on the rules to play with them. Chaysey asked me to play "bowly ball" with her yesterday and I helped her set up the pins and play it the right way and when I walked away she proceeded to put them back on the entertainment center and knock them down one by own, the whole time keeping the ball in her hand. I'm much better at snuggling :) Oh, you can do puzzles, and play games where they MUST follow the rules. I can do that. And I also find it easy to ask lots of questions (open ended) when they're playing imaginary things, and they consider that me playing with them. :)
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