Apparently, I'm having a baby. Like, SOON.

I had my 37-week appointment last week, where my doctor mentioned that he will be out of town the week I'm due, but back on the 8th of November (I'm due the 6th). He said, "Next week when you come in and we check you, we can strip your membranes for you and you'll probably go into labor within 72 hours. That way you don't have to have a different doctor if you go into labor while I'm gone."

I believe my response was something really articulate and brilliant, like, "Um.....You wanna do what now?"

Because, as we're all well-aware, I'm pregnant, but I'm not having a BABY. Not anytime soon, at least.

I sort of stuttered and stammered and told him I'd have to think about it. He said it's totally up to me, but I'm out of room, and plus the whole he's going to be out of town thing, and the whole she dropped and I'm so unbearably uncomfortable I can hardly see straight thing.

So we talked about it, and we've decided we're going to go ahead and do that. Wednesday at 2:45 is my next appointment, so she may be here by the weekend.

Holy. Freaking. Crap.

They send someone home with you and the baby to supervise and make sure you know what the hell is going on, right? I'm sure there's at least some kind of instruction manual. Right? RIGHT?

*Just tell me that there is so I stop freaking out.*

I expected a stronger reaction from Brian. He hates change. I sort of expected him to freak out and say under no circumstances was I to let her outta there before November 6.

All he did was ask a few questions about my maternity leave and the H1N1 vaccine, and then said, "Well, she's gotta come sometime."

I told him I was freaking out, and, "Won't you join me???"

He didn't. Jerk.

Once I got my head wrapped around the idea, though, I calmed down. I'm totally ready to not be pregnant anymore. As I mentioned, I think she dropped. I have to pee every time I stand up. That means that I go to the bathroom, pee, stand up, and have to pee again.

Doesn't that sound fun?

I was up every hour and a half to go to the bathroom last night. That was after having contractions all day and being fairly sure I was in labor, which it's now clear I wasn't, because I'm at work today.

Today's my mom's birthday. I think she's turning 28. Yep. That's what it is. 28 She was hoping Ellie would come today. I don't think that's going to happen.

Sorry, Mom.

There's one small part of me that's relieved that I wasn't in labor, and that's the part that realizes I don't want to work on this gigantic transcript while on maternity leave, so I'd better get it done in the next few days. I did get the check for it already, but haven't cashed it yet. I'm about 20 pages from being done with the first half, then have another 150 pages to edit on the second day, and then 250 pages to proofread, so I'm making good progress. I know it doesn't sound like I am, but trust me.

I thought I'd pop on to give a little update, though, as some people are probably wondering where I am and whether or not I've gone into labor. Someone suggested I have Brian update that everything went fine. Either he or I will, I promise. I'll probably have my laptop at the hospital, and they have wireless Internet, so updates will come soon after she's born.

I may be on before then, I may not. I pretty much feel like crap, so I can't guarantee anything.

*I pretty much lost all my funny by the end of this*