Busy, busy, busy

A few updates:

* We had our first ultrasound on Friday, and we have just one baby. The Kiblet is measuring 7 weeks 2 days, which is great (I was 7 weeks on Friday), and the heart rate was 145 (I think), which is also wonderful. We were relieved to hear it. I was a little disappointed that there's only one baby, but also really relieved. It's hard not to think about the fact that they put in two babies and only one lived, but the prospect of twins was a scary one financially, and we would have also been overwhelmed.

* I spent Friday, which was a furlough day for State employees, going to the grocery store and cleaning. I didn't nearly as much done as I wanted to, so I tried to finish up today. I started around 9 a.m. and stopped around 1 p.m. I vacuumed and mopped the floors, even moved the couch and got that all cleaned up -- I found A LOT of cheerios back there. I assume they were Bryn's. I haven't seen her eat cheerios for several months so....ew. I also found pieces of fake fruit under the couch that are supposed to be in a decorative bowl on my kitchen table, and enough cat hair to build myself another pet. Hopefully, that pet wouldn't have IBS or sneezing fits. There was also something on my wall that I have yet to identify. Luckily, it wiped off nicely -- washed the bedspread, mattress cover, all the area rugs, cleaned out my drawers and my closet, put away the massive amount of clean laundry sitting in my bedroom, and did approximately a bagillion more loads of laundry. My house now looks........pretty much the same as it did before. Considering how tired I am, it should look like an effing Pottery Barn catalogue photo. I still haven't gotten around to cleaning the bathroom (which is smaller square-footage-wise than my closet) or the baby's room (which needs a complete overhaul right now), and the basement hasn't been vacuumed in about two months.

I also, during the two-day process of cleaning, made a list of spring-cleaning items that need to be accomplished. It's massive. I sort of nod off just looking at it because it's so much work.

* Being pregnant is making me moody -- yes, more than normal. I thought I'd be all cheery and jolly and euphoric, but I'm just grumpy. I'm kind of weirded out by the changes in my body and the fact that there's a person living inside of me. I didn't think I'd have that reaction to pregnancy at all. I'm certainly not complaining or regretting. Far from it. I'm just feeling a little......vulnerable? invaded? I don't even know how to describe it. It's a really strange feeling, and the fact that I'm feeling this way is, in turn, making me feel guilty. It took so long and so much to get here, and now I'm all -- this. I feel ungrateful. I'm not, but I feel that complaining about any part of this will look ungrateful to people on the outside.

* My mom is driving me nuts. She's all mooshy and gooshy about the baby stuff, and I just want to tell her to shut it, partially because I just don't deal well with the mooshy gooshy stuff from my mom (or dad), and partially because I'm so GODDAMN MOODY. I know she's just excited, and she's not doing anything wrong at all. I'm being irrational, I'm aware of it, but that doesn't stop me from avoiding her calls a lot of the time. I avoid everyone's calls, though. I'm not a big fan of the phone.

* I told my boss I'm pregnant.......via e-mail. Yep, I'm a pussy. He e-mailed me on a Sunday, so I took that opportunity to tell him. I asked Brian what he thought before I sent it, and he said it was a good idea because then he could have whatever reaction he was going to have, good or bad, and then be pleasant to me at work. From what I've heard from other employees, chances are his real reaction was pissed. He was perfectly nice to me at work, though, and seemed genuinely excited for me, so maybe that was really his reaction. Who knows?

* I'm having bizarre dreams. REALLY bizarre. Like, last night the dream was that Brian told me he was going out on a date with some other chick. I told him, obviously, that I wasn't very excited about that, and he made some argument that apparently made me say, "Well, I guess that's okay, then." Then when I asked if he was going to kiss her, he said, "Not unless she kisses me first." Yeah. So I wasn't happy, and when she showed up she was way prettier than me. He went, and while he was gone I watched some tv show about dinosaurs catching on fire and falling down huge cliffs, and then when he came back he was trashed and wearing a striped sweater with sequins on it.

The night before I had a dream that was almost as weird. I woke up pissed both mornings, which isn't right, but I couldn't help it. I'm wondering if it had something to do with the fact that both days Brian left for work before I was up and I'm not used to sleeping alone. Hard to say.

* I NEED a new cell phone. Specifically, I NEED a Blackberry. I can't keep track of shit lately. I have no idea when my furlough days are, even though I've looked at and tried to memorize the dates about 10 times, I can't remember when I'm supposed to get my hair cut, when my doctor's appointments are, what days I'm in Scott County or Clinton County. I need something with an effing calendar in it. I also want the Internet access, because we get quota time at work for Internet, plus they can monitor the sites we're on. Not that I'm looking up porn at work or anything, but they can see my e-mail if they want to, and even though I'm not doing anything wrong, that's way more invasive than I tend to care for. I don't want them seeing my e-mail to my husband in the middle of the day that says, "OH MY GOD, I'M SO FUCKING BORED I WANT TO JUMP OUT THE WINDOW." Somehow, I think they might use that as ammunition to get rid of court reporters because we're not doing anything.

Problem is, the Blackberry is $700 new in the store, and neither of us think it's a good idea to spend that money right now. We can get one for $350 on e-bay, but that's still money we should be saving. Maybe Brian will surprise me for my birthday. He probably will, because he's sweet like that (despite what my dreams are trying to tell me). I mean, the guy went to Best Buy to work today and bought the Twilight movie for me while he was there. I can't even imagine how much shit he got for that. That's not the kind of guy who dates random women and comes home wearing sequins.

* I hate garlic. A lot. This makes me sad, because in my non-gestating state, I love garlic. I can't stand the smell of it now, though. Even thinking about it makes me gag a little.

That's it for now. I'm having dinner with some friends tonight. Sarah is in town from Albuquerque, and it's always nice to see her. I'm just praying dinner doesn't make me sick. I may have to tell everyone to order sans garlic.