On New Year's Day, I noticed all but three of my butter knives were missing. Now, when they went missing is hard to say. I can't imagine I wouldn't have noticed I only had three, since I think I should have 12, but if they disappeared gradually, I guess it wouldn't have been as obvious.
Now, you may be saying to yourself, "Eh, big deal." WRONG. Do you have any idea how inconvenient it is to only have THREE BUTTER KNIVES? It's an inconvenience I never even knew existed. I didn't realize until now how much it would annoy me to have to butter my morning bagel with a steak knife, or to have to wipe said butter off said steak knife to make my peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch. Do you know how many holes you poke in bread while trying to spread the peanut butter and jelly on it with a steak knife? Do you know how many pieces of bread you then go through, because the holes in the bread are not conducive to your general klutziness and inability to get through a meal without spilling on yourself? Do you know how many times I've poked myself with the stupid steak knife because it's early in the morning and I AM NOT EQUIPPED TO HANDLE SHARP OBJECTS BEFORE NOON???????
Jesus.
**On a related note, I was almost killed by a fairly sharp grilling spatula falling from our refrigerator when I opened the door last night. My husband says these things only happen to me. I don't know about that.**
After this unusual abduction of my flatware, my friend Cara informed me that hers was also disappearing. I can't remember exactly what she said was gone. I want to say spoons.
Is it not incredibly strange that silverware from two homes would become missing around the exact same time? I think Maidul did it. I think he's up there with a fabulous collection of spoons and butter knives (Cara's are way cooler than mine, but still), laughing his ass off, and saying, "Very Nice."
2 comments:
In my house, it was spoons. I can't say I've ever gottewn as low as three, but my old flatware was full of holes.
Part of my problem was shift work in a place with a common kitchen for employees, many of whom suffered a lack of respect for others' stuff. The dishes/utensils you throw in the sink to soak become someone else's in no time.
I noticed somewhere around our 15th anniversary that what we really needed was another wedding shower.
well, clearly I am behind on my blog reading, but it's my forks that are missing. We have four adult sized forks and have resigned to using dorm flatware and forks "accidentaly" not returned to the office or one of two campus cafeterias. So. Maybe we should buy one set of flatware and split it between the two of us, because we DON'T need more butter knives. :)
Post a Comment